Memory #253

One day, I did two weird things at the gym. First, I put my shorts on backwards in the locker room and laughed at myself when I had to take them back off over my shoes and turn them around. The next thing I did was head to the treadmill. I felt something brush my leg, and saw a dryer sheet fall out of my shorts! It felt so embarrassing for some reason, and luckily it blew into a corner, and I pretended it didn't come from me.

Memory #252

I remember wanting to try tea for the first time as a kid and getting really excited. But when I took my first sip,  I spit it out. I didn't like it. I thought it was going to be sweet.

Memory #251

When I was in elementary school, I liked to make a fort out of blankets and pillows in the holiday closet. I would move boxes out of the way and make a bed in there so I could stay all day and night. Sometimes my stays would last a month, and I would play school and read all day stowed away behind a closed door in a 5x3' space.

Memory #250

I went to a drag show in San Francisco the weekend of the pride fest. During a performance, a plump drag queen sang All Is Love by Karen O. She twirled around and danced so joyfully, and a big crowd of backup dancers jumped up on the stage. They pulled out rainbows of lipsticks and kissed each other after applying them and threw the sticks into the audience for us to put on. Then, they came down and ran through kissing everyone! Strangers all put on the lipsticks and kissed each other too. Everyone had colorful kisses on their faces. It struck me and made me so happy.

Memory #249

A woman called Dr. Laura because she was struggling to get her life back together and move forward. Her 21 year old son had committed suicide. The woman explained how she just felt so angry at him for doing this, and you could feel the hurt she carried in the deepest part of her heart. She was beside herself with a situation that could in no way be fixed. I felt so sorry for her and for him, and to this day the cutting anger and overwhelming devastation she felt haunts me and makes me want to cry.

Memory #248

I had a dream that I saw so clearly it was like watching a movie, and it even had a title, "Remember Me." It was about a black girl living in the inner city with a sick mom who ends up dying. The girl is at such a loss, she becomes over attached to her new boyfriend, who deals cocaine. Neither of them are awful people, and neither of them are victims. Eventually, she goes to jail for an exceptional amount of time, and the dream was over. I could feel so strongly the way that she just missed her mother and felt such loss. It was so vivid at the time, and I wish I could remember the lifelike details.

Memory #247

Presently I am depressed due to past memories, like many people are. The memory of my Dad and Mom arguing about money, finances. My Dad's ultimate reaction was to sit in withdrawn silence, stare into space or out a window. He disconnected, withdrew and emotionally checked out. This was a pattern, as I recall, for at least eighteen years, until I left home and repeated it all with my own life, which is why this memory depresses me, for the moment. Memories that go on living.

Memory #246

We picnicked along the rocky coast in the shadow of the Newport, Rhode Island mansions, the four kids and I. A seagull plunged into the ocean just beneath us and broke out of the water and back onto a craggy rock with a fish in his beak. Letting the fish plop down into a small crater, the seagull began to eat it. While my children ate their lunch, they watched the fish flip and flop as he was eaten alive.

Memory #245

I was in second grade, sitting on a hard tile floor as the teacher was reading a book to the class. I was sitting about three pupils over from a girl who had a crush on me and all of a sudden, I tooted! Loudly! ... Really loudly. Then I pointed shamelessly at the boy who was sitting in front of me's butt. Her crush only got stronger, but the boy beat me up after class.

Memory #244

I worked in a dildo factory. On the first day, my coworker held up a long, floppy, double ended vibrator. She swung it back and forth and squinted up her face saying, "This is for two bitches to fuck each other." She then did a pelvic thrust, and we started laughing.

Memory #243

There was a day that I made it to Arches National Park in the late afternoon. I didn't have much time to spend there, but I wasn't upset. I was just happy to be expressing the freedom of doing whatever I wanted. I can clearly remember driving through the entrance gates and feeling a calm sense of excitement as I anticipated what lay ahead.

Memory #242

When I was in eighth grade, we had a party on the last day of school. We chose between classrooms showing different movies. For some reason, we were allowed to watch Scream, and I will always remember one student intelligently pointing out every loud, creaking door or slick knife noise because they were so overdone and comical.

Memory #241

I went down to the Mississippi River with my friend, Aaron. We sat right below a busy highway, and there was a family fishing just a little ways upstream. We went skinny dipping, and we didn't care.

Memory #240

I was walking up Haight street in San Francisco when I saw a woman sitting in a car with water showering out of the door. As I drew nearer, I could see throw up all over the floor of the car, and she was pouring water on it.

Memory #239

During my elementary school years, my mom dropped my brother and me off at a neighbor's house an hour before school. The vietnamese woman who took care of us had a family of her own with kids our age. We would watch Wild and Crazy Kids on TV until she would come in the room and tell us it was time to go by saying, "Boy! Put shoe on!"

Memory #238

I was playing text twist, an unscrambling game, with my mother. I furiously typed words using our seven letters as the time ran out. Quite by accident, I typed the word CUM. This made my mom gasp and laugh!

Memory #237

One night, I went camping at Great Sand Dunes National Park. I climbed up to the tallest sand dune and looked out at the setting sun. The moon rose over some round mountain tops, and I could hear coyotes howling. The sun made the dessert look purple while the wind blew harder and became cold. I wished that I could spend my whole life just experiencing God's beauty without having to be bothered with working and relationships and eating and money and living.

Memory #236

My family was standing on the up escalator, and a lone middle aged man stood going down. As we crossed paths, I said, "Hello." The man stared at me and did not speak. At the top, my parents questioned why I said hello to that man. Everyone acted like I had done something incredibly bizarre.

Memory #235

My group was completing a project in the computer lab one night. I was a freshman, and Laura and Ben were seniors. I sat at my computer waiting for their help as they writhed around slamming erasers in each other's faces, throwing chalk and dust, and wrestling on the floor.

Memory #234

I woke up early in Yellowstone to go exploring. After viewing a colorful, bubbling spring and walking back to my car, I noticed a man coming out of the bushes. He only had a bike and a backpack, and I think he camped back there.

Memory #233

In a college art class, we were required to present our paintings. I decided to be cute and announce, "I enjoy painting dead things." People laughed, so I got what I wanted, but I hate looking back and thinking of my self saying something so desperate.

Memory #232

I went to a flea market in Alaska. The building said CHINESE MEXICAN ITALIAN TRI-GRILL. The inside of the building had piles and piles of old junk like video tapes. A pretty woman welcomed me in, and a fat family sat at the front of the booths. A boy with a disability in a wheelchair stared at me, but he could not speak. I always wish I would have asked to take their picture.

Memory #231

Mom and I were at a grocery store checkout counter. I shoplifted a small jar of "Four Roses" hair gel. When we got home she caught me and we drove back to the store and I had to return it to the store manager and apologize. I never forgot that lesson. Wish my mom had caught me more times in my life, I'd be more honest a human today! Whew, anytime I smell something sweet like Four Roses today I really remember.

Memory #230

I remember the love and support of my mother. My dad argued for me not getting a guitar for numerous negative reasons. My mom pushed it through and I am pretty good on the guitar. I went into art for a life career. My dad told me not to. My mom encouraged me and said I would be famous someday, and I am. Thanks mom, for your love and faith.

Memory #229

I was 17 years old, on a plane across the country. I decided to communicate with my future self, saying, "Here I am, on my way." Sometimes when I fly, I tell my 17-year-old self, "Hello, here you are."

Memory #228

In my high school art class, I sat at a table with two girls. We listened to the radio as we worked, and they liked to goof off and sing along. They asked me why I wasn't singing. "I don't know the words," was my excuse. "Oh it doesn't matter, you can just make something up," they told me and continued wailing to the music. I was too shy to join in, but now I make up words all the time and think of those two friends.

Memory #227

The upperclassmen had a barbeque to meet the students who would join their dorm the following year after leaving freshman housing. We ate hamburgers and played frisbee. The older guys asked us if we wanted to play croquet. We followed them around the girls dorm next door removing all the toilet seats. They stuck them in the lawn and we knocked the balls through the holes. One of the senior girls came out ranting and raving. I felt bad for the guys she was yelling at because they had been so nice to us.

Memory #226

It was known that Julie Andrews had lost the ability to sing during a botched throat surgery. I remember hearing her interviewed on the radio with a strong English accent saying, "I simply can't sing. I simply cannot sing."

Memory #225

I was at my grandma's house when we heard a dog barking in the distance. My dad was annoyed at the upset animal, and I decided to pray about the situation. I thought about the fact that God was comforting the dog at that very moment, and in doing so there could be no agitation. I was excited when the dog quit barking, but a few minutes later he started again. I felt let down.

Memory #224

One dark day in October, I decided to lie on my couch and watch, "The Exorcist," on my computer. It matched the mood of the day perfectly. Afterwards, I was quite happy with myself as I was feeling I had done something very productive.

Memory #223

As a freshman, I attended an 80's party. It became obvious that I was not quite sure how to dance to such different music. A senior named Jen declared, "You just have to be dramatic!" and she started promenading around with her arms posed in different ways.

Memory #222

I began to eat the lunch my mother had packed. I took out my thermos, and to my surprise, it was half filled with soda! After drinking a rancid, fizzling sip, I realized it was fermented juice forgotton over the long holiday weekend.

Memory #221

I arrived to check out an apartment for rent, and the manager showed me around. The place was a complete mess with trash and personal belongings strewn about. In one room, I spotted the lower half of a gigantic dildo. It had been sliced in half, and just the balls with an attached suction cup were left on the floor. In the bathroom, an entire porn dvd collection was sprawling out of a suitcase on the counter.

Memory #220

At some indistinct time of my childhood I used to build model airplanes of world war two. My favorite (a testimony many years later) was the japanese zero with the red circle for the land of the rising sun. The best part of this memory is the color of the plastic, which was a unique yellow orange color. Japanese zeros were not actually yellow. This was my favorite and most memorable model airplane, for reasons I don't even recall. Today, when I see a car this color yellow, it gives me the best deja vu feeling. Don't even know why the color does this to me deep down inside over so many years. I am 62 now and the intensity of the memory has not left me.

Memory #219

There are muted TV's in front of the treadmills at my gym. One day a sports science show was on. Over and over again, a big football player kicked a middle aged man in the nuts as hard as he possibly could. The man pulled his clothing tight around the crotch to show that he had no protection before getting kicked another couple of times. All the men on the treadmills were chuckling to themselves at this bizarre sight, and the women tried to pretend they weren't watching.

Memory #218

While abroad with my college class, I came into my hotel room unexpectedly to catch my roommate masturbating. I really could not have cared less, but I did not want to make things awkward. I said hello and walked right to the bathroom as if I hadn't seen, giving him time to pull up his pants. Upon coming out, he began trying to make normal conversation. "Guess what I got for lunch?" he asked me, "A big old baguette!"

Memory #217

I was a camp counselor, and on the last night of the session, we invited the cabins next door to a party. Someone cracked open a bunch of glow sticks and turned on the stereo. We turned the lights out and poured the liquid from the sticks all over ourselves and the cabin. We went wild with the boom box blasting. We flailed about amongst frantic splashes glowing green in the darkness.

Memory #216

I remember my mom taking us for a walk in Germany. Somehow, I can clearly picture us on the beach, although we did not live near the ocean. We walked along the waves before coming upon a carving in the sand of a gigantic swastika.

Memory #215

I decided which colleges to apply to, and I was thrilled with all the options I could pursue. I listed off one career prospect after another. I told my mom how I have a special talent at setting up exhibits and rooms and that I could even choose to be an interior designer. "Well, if you are thinking about that, then you should know that almost all interior designers are gay," she informed me.

Memory #214

I was having a great day on vacation with my family. My older brother and his friend and I were on our own, playing mini golf. The second hole had a very steep incline to get over. I stood next to my brother as he got ready to putt, I was leaning on my club like a real golfer. Suddenly my brother decided to show off and be goofy, taking a full, driving swing at the ball. He missed and the club hit me right in the eyebrow. All I remember after that is wailing and crying and my brother taking me into the bathroom to clean my face up.

Memory #213

My family was in a hotel room awaiting my mom's cousin's wedding. I was putting on a suit for the first time and having trouble tucking in the shirt. My dad advised me to tuck my shirt into my underwear, and he showed me how he had done the same thing himself.

Memory #212

During the summer after fourth grade, I attended a camp that was falling apart. Every night, I saw a spider spinning his web on the ceiling over my bed. One night, I saw him race over to an insect and wrap it up tight. Night after night, I watched him at work until one morning he was gone.

Memory #211

My dad watched a woman on a television show die after getting bitten by a black widow hiding in her shoe. The next day, he warned us to be careful since we kept our shoes in the garage.

Memory #210

I sprinted across the living room. "WHAT was that?" my grandpa declared, "I couldn't even see you!" My grandma laughed in amazement. I ran back and forth a couple of times displaying my tremendous speed.

Memory #209

When I was in college, I lived in an apartment that had 2nd- and 3rd-floor balconies that overlooked the intersection of two one-way streets. I was sitting outside one spring day after taking a final, and decided to go inside and brush my teeth. No sooner had I started brushing than I heard a horrific crash, and ran back to the balcony to find a car completely flipped over in the middle of the intersection, wheels still spinning. I was very disappointed that I did not see it happen.

Memory #208

Coretta Scott King gave a speech at my college. After teaching us about the Civil Rights Movement on an elementary level, she moved on to other topics. "Erase Africa's unjust debt!" she repeated. It was a chant, and to this day it pops into my head like a catchy tune.

Memory #207

When I was twelve, we went hiking in Yosemite. One of my brothers had brought a Hardy Boys book along, which was kind of surprising since neither one of them liked to read all that much. They even had the book out of the knapsack as they hiked, and they were snickering about it together. "What?" I asked. "What is so funny?" Still laughing together, they held it out to me so I could see the chapter title: The Big Boner. "So what?" I asked again. "What is a boner?" Laughing uproariously now, they took off down the trail without me, to catch up with our parents. When my mom came back the trail to tell me to walk faster I asked her what a boner was. I oould tell she was uncomfortable and didn't want to answer, but she told me anyway. I was kind of shocked and disturbed and spent the rest of the vacation with a mind full of pictures I did not really want to be seeing.

Memory #206

When I was young, we bought donuts from a man with a red and bulbous drunk nose. We referred to him often as The Wrinkly Nose Man.

Memory #205

My friend picked me up at the airport to bring me back to our college. While we waited for his girlfriend's plane to come in, we went to McDonald's. This restaurant was unlike any other McDonald's I have seen because it had computer screens to play games. Everything was extra clean. After that, we went to a comic book store. As we exited, some guys drove by and yelled, "Fags!" Our night was filled with many surprises, and that made it enjoyable.

Memory #204

I remember walking out of the college cafeteria and passing some televisions displaying the news. A woman had been murdered, and her grieving family was hopelessly trying to find the killer. I headed out to go bowling with my friends.

Memory #203

One day, when I was around seven years old, my mother mentioned the Manson murders. She described that the killers cut open a live pregnant woman's stomach and flung her baby against a wall. I was fascinated by the mental picture the story created and by my mom's wealth of knowledge.

Memory #202

While taking a high school exam, the room was silent except for the hums of an unknown student. It was distracting to hear someone going, "Hmm. Hmm," every few seconds. Half an hour into the test, a girl named Alex yelled, "WHO is making that noise! Stop it! MMMM! MMMM! MMM!" She made the hummer out to be a retard, and the noise finally ceased.

Memory #201

Students and teachers at our close-knit religious college performed, "The Vagina Monologues." My English teacher announced that her vagina wears tuxedos. Another teacher described how she was taught to find her g-spot in a class. A friend explained how she cut her vagina while shaving it at the command of her husband. A college dean wrote her own monologue: The Spiritual Interpretation of Vagina. During a group discussion, a Sociology professor asked, "If vaginas could speak, is there a difference between what a black vagina and a white vagina would say?" I had class with the tuxedo wearing vagina's owner the next morning.

Memory #200

The first time I remember getting into trouble when was when I brought a new pencil topper I had to my second grade class. It was a miniature troll, those ugly little naked dolls with the wildly colored hair. I absolutely loved trolls, this pencil topper in particular because it was miniature, like me. I was very proud to have it in class that day. My teacher saw me playing with the troll and ordered me to put it in my locker and never bring it to class again. I thought it was unusually harsh for her to get so mad because I was playing so quietly.

Memory #199

There was a young camper who acted so out of it that I am convinced he was either on drugs or retarded. As I was helping his hefty body down from a horse, he decided to leap off and land in a puddle of muddy poop which splashed all over my jeans and even onto my face. I was angry that someone could be so utterly stupid, and I don't think he was even aware of what he did.

Memory #198

When I was young, the movie Ernest Scared Stupid terrified me. My older sister made me watch as a girl checked under her bed for a hiding troll. I was so relieved when the girl didn't see anything. When she rolled back over on top of the bed, the troll was lying right next to her! His head was huge, and he had worms growing out of his red, flaky face. I will never forget how ugly he was.

Memory #197

I left my guinea pig's cage open and encouraged her to crawl out of it. She was too timid at first, but eventually she crawled out to join me in the open space. She became so excited and happy that she started leaping and twisting all around! It was her way of dancing.

Memory #196

I was chatting with a woman who taught the Jonas Brothers on set. She told me that their music was universal. "I think they have the potential to become as big as the Beatles," she assured me.

Memory #195

At the baggage claim, I saw a man pick up a suitcase. A woman from across the carousel began yelling her head off to quit touching that bag because it was hers. He politely placed it on the ground and began to wait for his own.

Memory #194

My roommate always watched tv late into the night. I woke up and heard a woman in an infomercial selling a juicer. "And now lets drop some broccoli into it!" she exclaimed. "What the fuck?" I heard my roommate mutter to himself.

Memory #193

My family played a game along with my brother's friend, Frank. Frank's dad had died years ago after falling from a ladder. This game required the players to write statements on little pieces of paper which were then passed to another player to be read aloud. Frank had some type of learning disability, and his answers made no sense. One paper actually stated one word: "CAT." He was incapable of playing the game, but rather than leaving, he made a joke of the situation. We had a good time laughing along with him at his crazy answers.

Memory #192

I joined the Model United Nations club, which culminated in a trip to New York led by our teacher. He brought another man along, and simply introduced the man by name. It became obvious that they were a couple. No student cared what our teacher did with his private life, but there was something awkward about this situation which we had not been prepared to encounter.

Memory #191

My roommate bought a box of bagels for us to eat! He placed it on a shelf in his nightstand. Later, I grabbed the box, set it down on my desk and chose a bagel before putting the box away. I made a crumbly mess, but greedily picked up the pieces and put them in my mouth. When I felt something chewy and plastic, I spit it out and discovered I had been eating a used, wadded, bloody band-aid!

Memory #190

My mom and dad took my brother and I fishing on Lake Gatun. I was disturbed that they placed the live fish they caught into a dry cooler. Every time the lid was opened, large eyes stared out and their mouths opened and closed. I caught one fish that I intended to immediately throw back. My dad took it off the line and dropped it in the bottom of the boat while he got sidetracked. I kept warning him that it was going to die, and he didn't have any sense of urgency. Eventually, he did throw it back in, but I had a feeling he took as long as he could on purpose.

Memory #189

My grandmother received her first computer for Christmas. My dad showed her how to use the internet. He typed the address of a religious website, but ended up with porn flashing across the screen! Looking over their shoulders, I laughed to myself. Strangely, my dad and grandmother had absolutely no reaction. They just sat there as if the screen was completely blank. My grandma simply sat and stared while my dad retyped the address.

Memory #188

My dad took me to a baseball game for my birthday. He bought me a hat. During the seventh inning, he decided we needed to make a dash from the stadium to beat traffic. We drove home listening to the plays on the radio. Our team hit a home run while we were driving.

Memory #187

Once, when I was very young, I saw my dad stop in his tracks as he walked across the living room carpet. He squinted his eyes, knelt down, and picked up the tiniest speck of lint.

Memory #186

My mom took us to the beach. While walking back across the long stretch to the car, we spotted a shoeless toddler stuck in the hot sand with no shoes on. She had gotten two thirds of the way across before her feet began burning and she froze, crying out in intense pain.

Memory #185

My dad was watching a tv movie when I was quite young. Two men were arm wrestling in a crowded bar. At one point in the match, the loser's arm began to separate and tear off! When a red gash started to rip open at the man's joint, I was completely disturbed and left the room.

Memory #184

When I was in college, a group of boys, and one of their girlfriends, did some unknown awful thing to a hampster. It had been this kid's pet for a while, and whatever he did had led to the animal's death. From what I could overhear, I suspect it was left outside in the snow or thrown over a cliff while sitting in its cage. The way the group talked about it and made inside jokes amongst themselves disgusted me. I lost so much respect for those people that day.

Memory #183

While I was swimming butterfly laps at the same interval as the fastest swimmer on the team who was doing freestyle, my coach interrupted my seconds long rest. He began to angrily question why I had completed the least amount of sit ups on the team during warm ups. "Even Molly did more than you!" he stated so loudly that she overheard. "Well someone has to be last," I replied and went back to work, blocking out his yells with the water.

Memory #182

When I was in elementary school, my mother and I went to blockbuster to rent videos. I picked out a children's film, and she decided to rent the movie, "Showgirls." I began to tease her about it and question her choice. She admitted that curiosity had overcome her, and she agreed that it was probably a silly choice. She decided to put it back on the shelf.

Memory #181

I participated in a student directed one act play. A fellow student and I took the parts of two hobbling, cave dwelling freaks. The insane director decided to spend 95% of rehearsals running elaborate, slightly disturbing improvisational scenes. One night, he drove us out into the woods. He blasted Enya from his car while the other cave freak and I flailed around praying to the moon god. We were made to run in fear from him while he waved sticks and yelled at us. I feel somewhat disgusted at myself for having gone through with such demented antics.

Memory #180

While walking to our car in the Disneyland parking lot, a plump drunk woman approached my older sister. "It's my BIRTHDAY!" she yelled, "Don't you want to see a picture of me when I was younger!?!" She started to pull out a glamour shot and forcefully shove it in my sister's face. My sister yelled back, "No! I don't want to see it!" She freaked out and started to speed walk. Later she admitted that for some reason she thought the photo was going to be porn.

Memory #179

When I was in eighth grade, our class was working on a skit for the Christmas extravaganza that our school was performing. We needed props, and I brought two toy rifles to school. For some reason, everyone was OK with that. They were quite large and somewhat realistic, and I just carted them all through the crowded hallways.

Memory #178

My mom was a teacher at the middle school I attended. One day, she gave a detention to Patrick, the most socially inept boy I have ever seen. As I was waiting for a ride home, and she was cleaning the blackboard, she farted! Patrick called our attention to it, and my mom proceeded to blame it on me. When I denied it, she acted as if I was lying! Patrick believed her, and to this day, it makes me angry that she would be so immature.

Memory #177

I was about five and my two brothers and mom and dad and I were on our way to go camping. Mom said we had to go to sleep in the car or else we would have to take a nap when we got to the campsite. My brothers laid down in the back and pretended to sleep where my dad had folded the seats so they formed a big flat bed. I had to lie between them, and I was too excited about camping to go to sleep. I kept popping up and looking out the window, and then lying back down and trying to sleep. When we got to the campsite, my dad set up the tent, and my brothers got to go down to the creek to swim with our friends who had driven in another car. My mom made me take a nap in the tent instead. I should have known; she always did what she said she was going to do. I was still mad and thought it was unfair.

Memory #176

One Saturday morning when I was in about fourth grade, I woke up crabby. Everybody from my brothers to my mom and dad told me I should get dressed, but I ignored them and laid around in my nightgown. Next thing I knew, my friend Julie's mom was at the door picking me up for a come-as-you-are party. As they whisked me away, I realized why my family had all been bugging me to get dressed, but it was too late. I just had time to put on slippers as Julie's family practically man-handled me out the door so it would be a genuine come-as-you-are party. Soon the car was full of preteen girls and Julie's parents took us to Denny's for breakfast. Some of the girls had obviously been warned by their moms that they were about to be kidnapped. These girls were wearing beautiful brand-new pajamas and slippers. Others apparently had families like mine who thought it would be cheating to give a heads up and were wearing ratty old nighties like I had on. After breakfast, we went back to Julie's house to play games. The game I remember most was where each girl had to draw a slip of paper from a hat and do whatever the paper said to do. One girl had to sing Mary Had a Little Lamb in front of everyone. Another one had to try to touch her tongue to her nose with her eyes crossed while doing jumping jacks. Mine was easy: I just had to do somersaults across the living room floor. The only problem, which I had been excruciatingly uncomfortable about ever since they kidnapped me from my house, was that I wasn't wearing any panties beneath my nightgown! I can't remember how I got out of doing the somersaults. I just recall the red-hot embarrassment of that moment.

Memory #175

I was a senior in high school who had just moved to town. My mom answered the phone, and it was for me. When I found out it was this dorky twenty year old guy from our church, I dreaded answering. I whispered, "No! Tell him I'm not here!" She refused, and after 5 minutes of arguing, I finally picked up. It was embarrassingly obvious. He asked if I wanted to hang out, and I said I couldn't because I was going to the beach with my family that day. I feel bad that I wasn't kinder and more sure of myself.

Memory #174

While explaining how to clean the bathroom, my mother exclaimed, "Now this is the fun part!" She proceeded to wildly fling water out of the faucet up onto the mirror and wipe it with a towel. Years later, as I cleaned the mirror with this method, my mom asked me what the heck I was doing. When I told her, she flat out denied that she ever would have taught me to do something so insane.

Memory #173

My parents had riled us up, and we were racing down a skinny hallway. Suddenly, I gave into an urge to jerk a door open into the middle of the hall as I ran past, leaving no time for my little sister to stop before slamming her face into the doorknob. I have no idea why I did that.

Memory #172

I was taking care of the animals in the biology classroom when I noticed a cockroach that was giving birth! A mass of white foam lay behind her, and as it dissolved, I could see the tiny roaches. They crawled around in that same spot, almost microscopic. Although repulsive, they were kind of cute, and I felt as if I had witnessed some type of miracle!

Memory #171

We invited our parents on a tour of our pretend candy factory. "Don't worry," I stated as we handed out samples, "We have cleaned these utensils with a sanitary napkin."

Memory #170

I really liked my eleventh grade chemistry teacher, and she was quite friendly to me. I finished high school somewhere else, and when it came time to apply for college and have teachers write letters of recommendation, I reached out to her through the counselor at my old school. My counselor reported that my chemistry teacher did not feel comfortable writing a letter for me. It felt odd to be denied, and I still sometimes wonder why she refused.

Memory #169

For my 11th birthday, my parents took me and some friends to a baseball game. My friends began chatting with the ball boy through a fence. He was squatting below us on the field, and he was very friendly. Then, an old usher came stomping towards us, "What are you boys doing!?" he demanded. We scattered, and I ran to an empty seat for a couple of minutes before we converged back with my parents again.

Memory #168

Our entire elementary school took a field trip to watch the high schoolers perform a play entitled, "You Can't Take it With You." The subject matter was way over our heads, and we suffered quietly through the entire long, boring thing. During morning announcements the next day, our principal chastised every class for disgracing our school and being rude during the performance.

Memory #167

While grocery shopping with my mom, I accidently poked my thumb through the foil lid of a yogurt. I was scared, so I just held on to it with my thumb inside until we got out of the store. When I showed my mom at our car, she was surprisingly understanding, and we simply went back in and paid together.

Memory #166

When I was in first grade, the drama club put on a haunted house at the school halloween party. I was to be a mad doctor operating on a helpless woman. Although incredibly fascinated, I was also too scared to go inside, and instead of performing that night, I visited all the activities being held in the classrooms.

Memory #165

The college I attended had visiting weekends for high school students. On my way to class during such a weekend, I saw a girl who looked lost. She kept looking at a sheet of paper she was holding that I assumed was a map. "Do you need help finding a building?" I asked. She whipped around to face me and gave me a sneer I had never before experienced. "I am a SENIOR," she said. My assumption that she was a high school student must have really offended her. At the time I was a sophomore and I tried to avoid her until she graduated.

Memory #164

I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. His mom had made heads of artichoke for us all to dip in butter and eat as an appetizer. As they were handed out, I heard my boyfriend's sister snicker about Martha, the step-grandmother everyone hated, and how she didn't know how to eat an artichoke. Well, Martha didn't--and neither did I. But I didn't say anything and I ate that artichoke, whole leaves and all, right along with Martha. It was awful. I don't know if anyone noticed or not.

Memory #163

I was spending a month in Europe with students from my European history class when I went clubbing for the first time. Our tour guide and bus driver came to the club with us and were dancing all around. The bus driver, Sebastiano, started grinding with me. He was drunk and really into it. I didn't know what to do. Eventually the tour guide came over and and reprimanded him. I felt weird getting on the bus each day after that night.

Memory #162

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang was one of my mom's favorite childhood books, and she was excited to read it to us before bedtime. Sadly, we were being rowdy and unappreciative of her treasured book. Eventually, she realized that she wasn't getting anywhere and put it down. She never did read it to us, and I feel a little bad about it.

Memory #161

I was probably younger than 9, and I was alone upstairs in grandma's house. I must have been in one of those extra emotional moods you get into when it is late at night. I began to watch the movie, "Gettysburg," on television. I thought of my dad in the Marines, and when that beautiful music came on, I burst out in tears!

Memory #160

I serve snacks on film sets for a living. An electrician approached my extravagant layout and declared, "There is a lot of bizarre shit on this table." I was not offended, but I was annoyed that someone could be so dimwitted and low class.

Memory #159

At a concert, I wormed my way up to the front of the packed crowd. I was wedged between people so tightly that I was not even standing up on my own. There was no place to put my feet, and I ended up standing on someones foot! Annoyed, he shouted, "Let's push this fucker over!" I ignored him, and when he tried to push me nothing happened anyways because we were so jammed in!

Memory #158

Dry erase markers just came out, and I thought they were amazing! I traveled my house drawing on windows, counter tiles, and a plate on the sink. They all wiped right off! Next, I scribbled on a casserole dish. To my surprise, the mark was permanent. Unfortunately, my older sister had borrowed the dish from a friend. She and my mom became incredibly frustrated. I remember my mom saying, "Now she is going to have to take it back to her friend and tell her that her 12 YEAR OLD BROTHER scribbled on it!" as if I was retarded. I felt so ashamed, and I hate thinking of this memory.

Memory #157

I drove through the crowded fashion district enjoying the breeze through my windows. I looked right and was confronted with a bare black bottom pointed right at me! In between the legs, a torrent of liquid poured like a hose onto the sidewalk. It sounded like a waterfall as it splattered everywhere around the pedestrians. I did a double take, and the woman calmly pulled up her pants and walked on.

Memory #156

We played a trivia game, and my uncle jokingly said, "F off!" It was a little much, but we all laughed since he only did say the letter F. A few weeks later, I was in the garage with my sister, and for some reason I told her the same thing! She was thrilled that she could tattle on me and ran inside. I rode off on my bike and didn't come home for hours.

Memory #155

After a catering job was over, the client called me on the phone and began screaming her head off because she thought I had overcharged her. (Not true.) After yelling and yelling at me for a minute or two, I could tell she was absolutely, without a doubt insane! I politely responded by letting her know that I was sorry she was unsatisfied, but she should take this matter up with my boss. Every time I think about that day, I wish I would have had the presence of mind to laugh and tell her off. I can think of so many really good come backs I could have used at the time. It's really too bad.

Memory #154

My sister and I walked around her neighborhood in Los Angeles. Each time we passed a unique house, we would find a suitable name for it. This is actually much easier than you might think. Some houses are just calling out to be named things like Winifred, Beatrice, and Humphrey.

Memory #153

I went hiking in Griffith Park with my younger sister. We came upon steep hill that overlooked the yards of many mansions down below. We sat on the hill and took turns yelling, "CONQUEST!" out into the neighborhood as loud as we possibly could. It was actually kind of hard to let loose and yell so loud, but we both found it quite freeing.

Memory #152

One day, many years ago, my mom drove me and my brother and sisters to the mall. I purchased a new cd, and I held it on the way home looking forward to playing it. My brother declared that, finally, I bought a cd worth listening to. Do you want to know what it was? Hole!

Memory #151

I was a middle schooler on a bus combined with high schoolers. A tall, thin black girl with her hair done up real tight was eating a bag of Cheetos. She carefully used her thumb and index finger like long, skinny tweezers as she picked at her snack. She remained emaculately clean except for the two orange spots on her hand.

Memory #150

While waiting for my sister to finish her softball game, I decided to check out the playground. It was too crowded for my liking. I turned swiftly around to leave and . . . BAM! I smashed my head right into a metal beam. I saw stars for a moment and felt like I was about to fall down. I was so embarrassed that I got myself together and sat back down at the softball game, never mentioning the incident to my parents.

Memory #149

When I was a camp counselor, some nights we would end by singing, "Taps." Without fail, the song always made me feel helplessly alone. My mom confessed that she felt the same way about the song, and it felt good to know that she understands.

Memory #148

My grandma took me, my mom, and my two sisters to visit my grandpa in a home for people who had lost their minds. She introduced us to a rambling woman named Rosemary who was completely delusional. My sisters and my mom hugged her when they said hello. I hugged her too. She gave me this look and a giggle implying that I was a naughty, frisky young man, and I felt gross and utterly uncomfortable.

Memory #147

I was in elementary school, but I played on a soccer team full of middle schoolers. They gathered to talk about the latest gossip. "Did you know that Jim Carrey humps his dog?" a boy asked. Everyone started laughing, so I did too because it sounded funny. "What is humping?" I asked.

Memory #146

In third grade, I made a new friend named Alison. We were in line to go down the slide, and she decided that she would show me how things actually ought to be done. "Outta the way!" she exclaimed and shoved past everyone. We did it half jokingly, but we really were cutting everyone repeatedly. I stopped hanging out with her as much because I was afraid I would turn into an unhappy bully.

Memory #145

We were on a class trip through Montana, and my Ipod was running low. We still had hours of driving to go. When we stopped at a restaurant, I looked behind the salad bar and saw a plug! I started messing with it trying to get my ipod recharged, and a suspicious old waitress caught me! She was annoyed at first, but then allowed me to plug it in at the front desk.

Memory #144

One day I drove around the corner from my house. An ambulance was parked in the street, and a body lay under a white sheet on the ground. The red lights from the ambulance flashed on and off in the road.

Memory #143

When I was young, I missed out on going to an arts and crafts convention that my mom had gone to. She knew I would really like it, and she decided to take me back to it. I loved looking at a booth of wax sculptures, and she bought me a snake coiled around a branch. It was a really good day.

Memory #142

In junior high one day, Byron Beck, a slightly chubby blonde boy I only knew a little, found me sitting alone at a lunch table. Joining me at the table, he told me he really liked me. He asked me if I wanted to go out with him and presented me with a tiny box of Whitman's Sampler Chocolates. "No!" I mumbled, unable even to look him in the eye. I threw the box of chocolates at him and ran away. I never spoke to Byron again. Years later, toward the end of high school, I had to stay late after school one day. I was calling my mom for a ride when a group of boys surrounded the phone booth and started rocking it and saying nasty things to me. Suddenly, one of the boys said, "We better leave her alone. She's Byron Beck's friend."

Memory #141

I was sitting at a little wooden vanity, looking in the mirror while I blew my hair dry. As it had been doing for weeks, the blow dryer kept shutting off for no apparent reason. I would have to shake it to get it to turn back on. I was in a hurry, and I began to get very annoyed. At one point, it turned off and no amount of shaking would make it go back on. This made me very angry, and I used the blow dryer to hammer on the plug where it was connected to the wall. Sparks and tiny flames shot out in a blast, scaring the bejusus out of me. I yanked the cord from the wall and threw the slightly blackened blow dryer in the trash, thinking I was way more stupid and impulsive than I had ever known.

Memory #140

Once a month, I would go shopping with my mom at the commissary on base to feed our family of six. We would pile high two, or sometimes three, grocery carts, and the bill could sometimes total $800. I was always embarrassed by how much attention was drawn by our overloaded train of carts. Other shoppers would stare or make cutesy comments. It would take half an hour to check out. We would measure ourselves with the receipt. It was quite an excursion.

Memory #139

We were pulling up to an ice skating rink in the mountains. In the car, my grandma told us to stop repeating some phrase or she would not take us skating. I do not remember exactly what it was, but it was not rude or mean. It simply annoyed her. I thought it was just silly, and I blurted it out right away. She made me sit on a bench near some lockers while she took my siblings and my mom in the rink without me.

Memory #138

My sister had a coughing fit that went on and on. She held nothing back. Irritated, my dad told her that she needed to stop because she sounded awful like a goose.

Memory #137

I can still remember feeling the warm breeze through my dorm window on Sunday nights while listening to the church bells in the distance. It made me so relaxed for the upcoming week.

Memory #136

Our 10th grade class was taking turns separating the characters from a book we had read. You had to raise your hand and write a character under the correct column on the board. For some reason, I decided it was cute or funny to put an exclamation mark after each of my character names. I get really embarrassed when I think back on that day.

Memory #135

I was hosting the camp fashion show as the campers ate in the lodge. The campers came out two by two dressed in clothing with the camp logo on it. "Look at these great models! Wow what a nice pose!" I would exclaim. At the very end, I was going to model a sweatshirt myself with another counselor. "Now it is time for the most handsome and beautiful models of them all!" I said. I didn't realize that two more campers still had to go and marched out on stage to my words. I think it looked like I called these two kids the best looking models, when I was really trying to make a joke about myself!

Memory #134

In middle school, students gathered to make fun of me for supposedly having a girl's name, which really made no sense. I told them that they didn't know what they were talking about because my name is written in the Bible as a man's name. They responded, "Oh! You read the BIBLE!" making fun of me even further. They sounded so stupid that I really didn't care.

Memory #133

Students performed their own interpretive dances while reciting original poetry. One girl completed her bizarre dance with an unfortunately large camel toe! To me, it was the most obvious part of the whole routine, but when I asked my friends if they had seen it, they told me I was sick for looking.

Memory #132

At our school fair, three of us played in a jump castle used for boxing. There were two sets of gigantic padded boxing gloves. We were just messing around when the nasty attendant scolded, "Why would there be three of you in there when there are only two sets of gloves?" "Oh, we are sharing," I told her.

Memory #131

School was canceled due to a hurricane warning. I remember the moodiness of the windy day. The fall trees and our street were lit up dark orange.

Memory #130

I had an elaborate birthday party in which my friends were guests at a murder mystery ski resort! My mom and I made up games to go along with the theme. At one point during some type of ghost tour, my mom and my sister, dressed all in white, sauntered across a field while spraying silly string at us.

Memory #129

My mom substituted my fourth grade class, and we had to watch a health video. In one scene, a raw, bloody heart filled the screen as it pumped away. It almost looked like food, perhaps an undercooked biscuit soaked in some type of red wine sauce. It was one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen, and I still cannot forget that vulgar video.

Memory #128

We presented our photos to the rest of the photography class. Charlie showed his photograph, which was a breathtaking picture of Yosemite. We quickly noticed that he had actually taken a photograph of an Ansel Adams photograph hanging on the wall in the hallway! The teacher got quite irritated and stated how irresponsible this was, and that Charlie had no business turning in this photo. What a shame, because we could have had such an enlightening discussion about the art world, what is art, and what constitutes ownership. It was actually kind of a neat idea that Charlie had.

Memory #127

My grandma had a neighbor who would emerge through the trees and bounce a rubber band ball across the driveway at us. Her name was Helen, and she always wore pajamas. Once, Helen asked my grandma if she liked her new dress because someone had told her it looked like pajamas. My grandma said that the dress looked very nice on her.

Memory #126

There were many homeless dogs in Panama. One lived in a certain area that we would pass through on our way home. He was light gray, and his face was very round and ugly. Whenever my mom spotted it near our car, she would roll down her window and yell, "ALIEN DOG!"

Memory #125

I was flipping through the channels when I came upon a woman wandering around her house calling for her husband. She was unaware that a terrifying monster was lurking around the corner in the next room! The film was black and white, and I cannot well describe the way the monster looked. I would say it was a much larger, milky, dripping Cousin It from The Addams Family. It was the most evil looking character I have ever seen, and I will never forget it. I wonder what happened to the woman!

Memory #124

We dissected frogs. I don't remember my own frog, but my mind can clearly see the boy in the group next to me skinning his as part of the assignment. Strip after strip of thin green skin tore off the body like someone picking off a sticker.

Memory #123

We tied down dead piglets to dissect. Their little tongues hung out of their mouths filled with tiny teeth. We had about ten minutes left, and the teacher declared that teams who completed any of a number of tasks would receive extra credit. The easiest task was pulling out the brain. We raced to get it out. The scalpel could not dig through the thick skull, and we jabbed and rammed at it until we broke a jagged hole. We picked and peeled away at the top of the head in order to uncover the gray pudding brain. A horrid stench fumed out of the fractured hole. We slid the scalpel around the edge of the miniature brain to loosen it from the sockets, and the brain became deformed. We scooped it all out. The piglet rested on the tray in pieces, and I will always feel so bad about what I did.

Memory #122

During the fall in third grade I was raking leaves in my backyard with Mom. A few days before I was in a park and saw two boys playing in a creek catching and eating minnows, I thought this was really gross and I would never eat anything while it was living.

I remember thinking about this while raking leaves really fast and chewing a huge piece of "bubble tape" chewing gum (probably upwards of 16"). As I chewed I had to open my mouth. All of a sudden a grasshopper jumped out of the leaf pile and landed right in my mouth! I quickly spit out what I thought was the grasshopper and kept chewing. It was a cold day outside for Florida and my mouth was a little numb. After several crunches I realized it was the gum I spit out and the bug was now squirming around in pieces on my tongue!

Memory #121

In fourth grade, there was a boy, Chris, who had a new girlfriend each week. He and I had been friends for quite a while, and I soon became his "girlfriend." My parents didn't know, and still don't know. One day, I was getting unreasonably irritated by him, and told my parents of my irritation. My dad, who always seemed to think that all boys like roughhousing, took it upon himself to grab Chris's shirt and threaten him the next morning. Daddy thought he was just being funny, but Chris was really scared. Chris came to school crying. To my eternal shame, I gloated, since I was still irritated. After a few minutes, though, I felt bad. I always think about this when I feel like rubbing something in. It almost always reminds me that I'm doing something bad.

I don't remember if I ever apologized to him. He forgave me anyway, because he and I remained friends until he moved away. I wish I knew how to contact him now, though, and actually apologize.

Memory #120

My mom was gone for the night, and my dad made us dinner. It tasted so delightful. When he told me that I had been eating popcorn shrimp, I was so surprised because I had never eaten seafood before. I was having so much fun eating this strange meal that my dad surprisingly cooked. He enjoyed himself with us.

Memory #119

In seventh grade, a group of boys began to tease a girl named Tatiana by calling her, "Titty-ana." She flaunted herself back at them and responded, "I'm proud of my titties!"

Memory #118

When I was about 13, I had to help my mom's friend throw a pool party for severely handicapped orphans. There was an unbelievable amount of children, and it overwhelmed me. There was a boy with a large knot growing out of his stomach above his belly button. Another boy ran out of the bathroom with his pants down resembling a hunched gorilla. We had to take some of them back to the orphanage, and I was crammed next to a hairy girl in our car. I avoided sitting in her seat for quite some time.

Memory #117

One day, I was home alone watching tv. I saw a girl in a canoe floating on a lake in the woods. When she looked at a shack on the shore, the most startling face appeared in the window! It was a bloody laughing man, with a bald and pink head. His skin was fat and drooping! I was terrified, but I didn't change the channel.

Memory #116

In seventh grade, we were forced to dissect a frog. Our lab group wasn't all that into it, but we did it in order to pass the class. The various assignments due during the dissection included labeling the body parts inside the frog. I remember looking over to the group across from mine and was horrified to find a boy sneaking a taste of the frog's bright yellow, rubbery, slimy fat body!

Memory #115

I have a vague memory from Germany. Every morning, I had to walk past an apartment building with an empty floor. The top level had no glass in the windows, and the darkness inside was startling. I think a gas leak caused a smoking woman's house to explode. There was something incredibly lonely about those desolate windows.

Memory #114

My siblings and I attended my cousin's masked ball. Throughout the night, my grandma mentioned how great my sisters looked in a way that purposely implied that I did not look nice. Afterward, my parents asked about the party. I told them about my rude grandma. My parents and my sisters seemed to get oddly angry. They made me sound like a fool and agreed that I did not look very nice. I felt humiliated. I have never been able to figure out why they lashed out at me on that night.

Memory #113

As events planner of the campus, it was my job to run the show at homecoming and get the crowd excited for our bonfire! I was given a box of beaded Mardi Gras necklaces in our school colors. I did what you are supposed to do with those necklaces, and I started throwing them out over the crowd! "HEY! STOP THAT! WHAT THE HELL!?" people started yelling. One hit a football player in his face! He was mad until he saw that it was me. I decided to pass them out by hand, and people smirked and declined as if it was the dorkiest thing I could possibly be doing at that moment.

Memory #112

In New Jersey, my family was eating lunch with my brother's friend's family. In a thick New Jersey accent, the friend's sister mentioned, "Cheese Balls." For some reason, right then and there, my mom blurted out, "Cheese BAWLZ!" and imitated the girl.

Memory #111

In the pet store, I noticed the tiniest mouse cleaning himself inside a snake cage. The snake was just saving the poor, oblivious thing for later. I know that snakes need to eat too, and they would have just put another mouse in the cage, but I really wish that I had asked to take that one home as a pet. I can still see him rubbing his face with his little pink hands.

Memory #110

I was about 12 and playing with my young cousin in the children's section of a water park. I slid down the baby slide and smashed right into a pile of poop. As I rose, disgusted and freaked out, the lifeguard blew her whistle at me and started yelling that I was too old, and that I had to get out. Not what I really wanted to hear at that moment.

Memory #109

Our fourth grade teacher gave us fake money as rewards, and each week, she would bring in garage sale items to auction off to the class. Our desks were arranged in groups, and each member had a job. I was the banker who saved everyone's money. There was the coolest coconut monkey bank that I had ever seen, and I wanted it so badly. As the bidding grew higher, Jenny and I were the only ones going back and forth over the bank. After I won by stealing money from my group's collection, Jenny stated, "Wow you have a lot of money!" I desperately wanted to bring the bank back to school and give it to her, but I could never bring myself to fess up. I have always felt bad.

Memory #108

We had just finished an art project in seventh grade involving parrot shaped stencils. The following week, our assignment was to design a shirt. I made a shirt for my mom that said, "Panama," and I reused my cardboard stencils so that I could paint birds sitting on the letters. When we got our grades, I was so irritated. I received a B- because the teacher didn't like the fact that I reused the stencils instead of making my own. "It's not hers. She didn't copyright it," I complained to the other students. A hand came down on my shoulder, "Your right," my teacher stated and changed my grade to an A. I must have been very annoying.

Memory #107

Moving men were carrying large items of furniture through our skinny hallway. I was five. I could see them coming towards me, and I squeezed myself flat against the wall to prepare for them. "MOVE! Watch it! GET OUT OF THE WAY!" my dad scolded me. I thought I had been out of the way.

Memory #106

We got out of our car in a parking lot, and my mom felt something on her side. She lifted up her shirt a little bit and saw a gigantic bump half the size of a golf ball. As soon as she touched it, the pressure allowed all of the pus inside the boil to explode out. She felt much better, and we continued on our shopping trip.

Memory #105

I ran track for the first time during my freshman year. I always felt bulky and slow. I dreaded track meets because they embarrassed me. Once, I waited hours for my event to come. I decided to fall asleep on purpose so that I would miss the event. When I woke up, teammates questioned why I missed out. "Well, it doesn't matter. I would have come in last place anyway," I stated. The best runner on the team scolded me for having a horrible attitude. I remember her disgusted eyes.

Memory #104

There was a man at my church who couldn't hear very well. He would wear musical socks to church during the Christmas season and once in a while during the service they would spontaneously go off. He never knew that he was making such a ruckus because he couldn't hear them. Another church member would have to take it upon themselves to quietly tap him and motion that his socks were making noise. He was so good-hearted and smiled all the time. He died recently and I will miss him and his singing socks this Christmas.

Memory #103

I remember my mom and her smile and her laugh and her warmth.

Memory #102

When I was little I would close my eyes when my leg fell sleep. It felt like yellow stars were surrounding my leg and bumping into it again and again. Little yellow stars all around my leg. I told my mom once and she didn't know what the heck I was talking about.

Memory #101

Someone brought a Playboy magazine to a birthday party of sixth grade boys. They went upstairs to look through the pages. I felt uncomfortable because I was very shy, and I waited out in the hallway. They came to get me and told me that I could just play video games in the room if I wanted to. I told my mom about the incident the next day. "Well, why didn't you want to look?" she asked me.

Memory #100

We moved from Panama to the United States. Our car still had a Panama license plate, and at the airport parking lot, the woman collecting tolls asked each driver what state their car was registered in. My sister said, "Panama." The woman replied, "PANAMA!? I ain't ever heard no Panama!?"

Memory #99

We have a second cousin who is somewhat older than us. We ordered ice cream at a restaurant. She showed us how to make our ice cream special by taking a sip of her milk with her straw and then blowing it into our ice cream cups. It tasted amazing.

Memory #98

I remember loving to trick or treat as a kid. My older brother and I would walk around the neighborhood for hours until our pillowcases were full of candy. Then we would come home and spread out our candy on the kitchen table and trade. I love Reese's and Nutrageous, and I always would trade 3 or 4 or even 5 candy bars to my brother for a single Reese's. It's all about quality! For the next few weeks at school my lunch would always have a Reese's and something else. My mom always gave out pencils to the neighbors. I thought this was kind of strange. She thought the kids needed some variety.

Memory #97

I had just come back from Disney World. I was five. I was showing my best friend Jonathan my new plastic sword. I really, really liked that sword. When we decided to play Peter Pan, we created Captain Hook by turning the coffee table on its end and attaching a red balloon where his head should be. My new sword broke that day. I remember writing about it in my little diary. I was pretty sad. My mom bought me another plastic sword soon afterward, but it just wasn't the same. I wonder if Jonathan remembers playing Peter Pan with me.

Memory #96

My family and my cousins were on a vacation in Washington DC. All 8 of us kids were in a hotel room by ourselves. My little sister had the remote and was flipping through the pay-per-view titles. She reached a row of porn, and I told her to click OK on the remote. A woman appeared on the television and began taking off her pants! We all started screaming and laughing! My aunt came to the rescue and shut the tv off. Somehow, my sister who had grown up using computers and electronics equipment was able to convince everyone that I had tricked her into ordering the porno. I am still sometimes referred to as "Porn Freak." How could anyone let themselves think that my middle school aged sister did not know full well what she was doing!

Memory #95

On the film set of a commercial, a 35 year old production assistant told me, "You know, Los Angeles is like one giant pussy. Right now, I have one finger in. Actually, I might have two in there. But soon I am just going to jump right in and fuck it." I had no idea how to respond, and I said, "Yeah. You are moving on up little by little!"

Memory #94

The house was completely dark while I watched a movie. My roommate opened the refrigerator and was enveloped by a warm glow. In the fleeting moment that he was illuminated, I saw him differently, and my attitude towards him changed. After shutting the door, it all went dark again.

Memory #93

An unknown man called our house, and my sister answered. "Is this the manure company?" he asked. "Oh, because I thought I was talking to a sack of shit." After hanging up, my sister began to cry.

Memory #92

While visiting my daughter, I tried to be helpful by cleaning her kitty's litter box. I flushed what I collected down the toilet and was dismayed that the toilet clogged. We tried a plunger and a snake to no avail. I even reached my hand down as far as I could, and though I was able to retrieve a little of the clay-based litter, it did not clear the toilet. Then, I researched solutions on the Internet. After reading several postings ridiculing stupid people who flushed litter down toilets, I found a suggestion that several people swore worked for them - a little dish liquid and lots and lots of boiling water. It worked! I was so grateful I didn't need to call a plumber. (Note to self: Do NOT flush kitty litter down the toilet!)

Memory #91

My daughter wanted a cell phone, but since her college was located in a rural area without good reception, it seemed pointless. I just let her use my cell phone when she was home on break. One Christmas, after we opened gifts, I told her I was going to call some friends to wish them "Merry Christmas." Since it was only about 7:00 a.m., my daughter was shocked and cried, "You can't call them this early!" Ignoring her, I picked up the phone, and as soon as I dialed, a phone began ringing in our house. With a look of surprise and delight, my daughter retrieved her new cell phone from behind some couch cushions.

Memory #90

The RA's ran fun events for us the first week of college. One was a scavenger hunt in which we had to collect items that started with each letter of the alphabet from team members' dorm rooms. We were searching for B's. A tall, distinctive girl showed us so many bizarre, wondrous objects all around her room that started with B. At the instant she pulled out a bright plastic Beatles Backpack, I knew that she was crazy, and that I needed to be her friend.

Memory #89

When our daughter was four years old, we took a trip to Disney World. We spent all our time in the Magic Kingdom and visited with the Disney characters that strolled the grounds. We met Captain Hook one day and my daughter was frightened. She clambored up in my arms and shrank against me when the captain wanted her to plant a kiss on his cheek. On the way home, when our plane was about to land, she handed her dad her little notebook. On it she'd written our phone number. She told him, "When we land, call this number. If Captain Hook answers, don't go home!"

Memory #88

I thought I was a pretty good mom. Granted, this was my first and only crack at it. I wanted my daughter to develop responsibility and independence so I let her dress herself in kindergarten. She liked to wear dresses to school, so there wasn't much she could mismatch. One day when I was at work, I received a phone call from the school nurse. It seems my daughter had been doing somersaults during story time. I wondered why the nurse was calling to tell me this. It turned out my daughter had forgotten to put on her underpants that morning. I did not feel like a very good mom that day.

Memory #87

My mom took forever to come get me after school in first grade, and I went to the library to wait. It seemed like I was sitting on a chair for hours. I was quite uncomfortable because I felt out of place and that everyone was staring at me. Eventually the librarian walked by and sniffed her nose twice. "Do you need to go to the bathroom?" she asked. I hadn't done anything, and I was too old for that woman to ask me such a question. I am still offended at the way that librarian tried to humiliate me when I was already feeling vulnerable and alone.

Memory #86

Our backyard fence had a gate that opened up to an athletic field. Sometimes, neighbors who didn't live against the field would come through our backyard in order to reach it. Once, I was digging a hole with my brother and singing, "Salvation," by the Cranberries. I belted out, "SALVATION! SALVATION! SALVATION!" and a much older neighbor happened to be walking past us to the gate. I quickly turned away and began digging the hole in silence.

Memory #85

My family knew a South African couple who went to our church. During a conversation at their house, the wife inquired, "Who is George Washington?" It sounded so absurd!

Memory #84

My roommate worked in the cafeteria and would bring home leftover food. One night, he had a few big slices of pumpkin cheesecake! After he left, a tremendous urge grabbed me. I ran to the little fridge and began cutting myself a slice! In the midst of my thievery, he walked back into the room because he had forgotten something. It has been four years, and I am still so ashamed of myself.

Memory #83

I walked down a street in Sarlat, France. A woman asked me if I could figure out what was written on a note posted outside of a closed shop. I told her that I didn't speak French, and she became so excited. She was also American, and she thought it was so great to meet someone else from our country in France. I really thrilled her!

Memory #82

When I was around 5 years old, I dressed up as a clown for Halloween. My oldest sister was wearing all white since she was dressed as an angel. I was sitting next to her in the back seat of the car on our way to my Grandma's house and I put my head on her shoulder. She immediately shrieked and scolded me for getting my clown makeup on her white dress. I felt terrible, especially since she was the one who had put on my makeup. I cried the whole way to my Grandma's.

Memory #81

My dear friend was making cold drinks and putting them on a tray. She picked up some of the fallen ice, and I saw the pure crystals against her black skin. For an instant, I was startled at how dirty her hands seemed against the clear cubes. I don't know why such a horrid thought would spring into my mind about someone I like so much. I really regret thinking it.

Memory #80

My mom's friend was giving us a ride in her car one afternoon. As I was putting on my seatbelt, she said that I had good muscle definition. She said, "Try holding on to THAT when you get older!" like it may be the most futile thing I could possibly do. It embarrassed me and I mumbled something like, "Oh." I can remember her always doing exercise videos in the mornings dressed in a loud workout suit. Fitness was important to her. Now that I am older, I think of this memory as I work out and hope that the dream of staying fit isn't as futile as Sheila once thought.

Memory #79

I used to be the second person to board the school bus in the morning. The first kid's name was Michael Sweet. He used to make me things in his workshop - tiny little beautiful wooden furniture for my stuffed animals. I should have known then, but was told later that Mike liked me a lot. We ended up going to different middle and high schools and I don't know what happened to Michael Sweet and his workshop.

Memory #78

My dad had a mental collapse and took it out on me. He had lost all control and was about kick me out of the house. I was not into drugs, alcohol or anything else immoral. I was only home from college (which I excelled at) on a break. As he rampaged, my mom called. I listened in on another line. "I guess we will give him fifty dollars and send him on his way," my dad stated. I waited for my mom to protest. "OK then," she replied. Something happened that day.

Memory #77

My three siblings, my brother's friend, and I were climbing into a car. My little sister declared, "I will sit in the middle of the back." I thought that was nice of her to let me have the front! I then realized that she wanted me to come to the back with her and let the friend have the front. I don't remember what she said exactly to clue me in, but her tone made me feel so unwanted, like I disgusted her. I looked out the window, and I couldn't stop crying even though I was trying so hard not to.

Memory #76

I was on an art field trip to a remote farm town. There was a children's group setting up a haunted house in an old community center. My teacher wanted to show me the beautiful architecture inside one of the rooms of the building. We had asked permission, and we went inside. On the way out, an angry and suspicious man confronted us about why we were in the building. There was something awkward about being put in a situation like that with my teacher.

Memory #75

While shopping at the Hollywood Vons, I spotted a tall, muscular and obvious transvestite in a purple dress with a short bob. I started to laugh about it to my sister, but she said that she felt sorry for him. I looked closer, and there was a deep lonely sadness in his eyes.

Memory #74

When I was in fourth grade, Gregory Hernandez asked me to go steady and tried to give me a ring. That scared me, and I ran away. The next day, my fifth grade brother and I were walking home from school together, and we noticed that Gregory was following us a little ways back. I decided to run home, and my brother said he would talk to him. When my brother came home, he gave me the ring from Gregory! I was so mad! The next day my best friend convinced me to tell Gregory I had thrown the ring in the trash can at school. I saw Gregory rummaging through all the wet lunch bags and old apple cores and spilled milk and I felt bad and gave him his ring back. He never talked to me after that, but he shot a rubberband in my eye a few months later and got in big trouble with the principal. I think I pretended like it hurt more than it did. I wonder about Gregory sometimes and hope he married a nice girl who loves him.

Memory #73

My brother and sister and I had to stay at our neighbor's house in the mornings before school. They had a daughter in elementary school like us and a son who was a toddler. He was so annoying. One day we made a tent, and their mom started attacking us and making it fall down on us. As we were scrambling around laughing, I took the chance to whack the boy on his diaper a couple of times with a brush. His mom never knew why he was crying.

Memory #72

Our second grade class was divided into different level reading groups. Our group met with our teacher for a reading session. I opened up my textbook and started to flip to the correct page. I noticed that a gigantic insect had been smashed between two of the pages. I quickly flipped past it and hoped that no one would see. I was very worried about what they would think.

Memory #71

In fourth grade, I had to sit next to a boy named Caleb. He had been a new student earlier that year, and he cried all day on his first day in our class. He was chubby and could not speak English very well. All day long, he would let out noisy farts. I was very annoyed and disgusted by him. I solved the problem by sticking an air freshener under his desk! It stayed there for many months before we had to clean out our desks. He found it and pulled it off! I don't think it was working by that time anyway.

Memory #70

My mom and I drove over to pick up my mom's golf partner and her daughter, Hillary, who was seven. Hillary got into the car before her mom and stated, "My daddy is a yipper." Candy came barreling out of the house then and jumped into the car and declared, "Scott is a yipper. He told me not to bring the camera to work because I'd break it. I brought it to work and I broke it. Now he's yelling. He is such a yipper."

Memory #69

I was at college, and I called my grandma. After we talked, she put my grandpa on the phone. He wanted to say hello even though he was very out of breath from some troubles he was having. He said, "Hello Bucker!" I started to tell him all about school and my plans for the summer when he cut me off and said, "I love you! Bye!" He gave the phone back to my grandma and that was the last time that I ever talked to him because he died a few months later.

Memory #68

A bunch of distant relatives with small children our age came over for a get together. We were running around the backyard while our parents watched us and chatted. I heard my mom state, "They are all pretty advanced, but April is more advanced than the others." She spoke with a startling truth in her voice.

Memory #67

My younger brother and sister would half jokingly gang up on me, and I would somewhat play along, even though it could get mean. They were chasing me around with my brother's friend threatening to pour water on me. I jumped under a table and called out to my mom for help! She yelled at me to get out from under there and stop being so pathetic. She went on and on in front of everyone because she was so disgusted. I was humiliated. I thought we had just been goofing off.

Memory #66

At the Boston Market restaurant, we ate our chicken like normal people. Most of the meat was gone, but little scraps remained on the bones. My grandma noticed and declared that we could not waste that food, as she and my mom would eat it. They sat over our leftover bones picking at them and devouring them like two nasty vultures. We still make fun of my mom about it even though many years have gone by.

Memory #65

My sister and I went to piano lessons together at our teacher's own house. Her name was Donna, and she sat in a wheel chair. She was morbidly obese and partially paralyzed. She could not move one arm and both her legs. Donna was a very heavy breather. She had a pointing stick that she would unfurl with her wet mouth and proceed to scratch her saliva against my song book. She had warned us that if her leg ever had a seizure that she would need our help putting it back in the stirrup of her chair. During one lesson, her leg started vibrating everywhere and she was clenched in pain! She calmly asked us to wedge it back into the chair for her. My sister did not budge and looked at me with a smirk. I had to catch the leg and shove it back in. It was traumatizing, and we started going to lessons less and less until we found out that she died.

Memory #64

My brother found some frogs in a park with his friend. They came home and got a container to collect them. Afterwards, my brother told me that they went to the friend's house and fed the frogs to his pet snake. Supposedly, one of the frogs screamed right before he was eaten.

Memory #63

When I was 8 or 9, my family lived in a house with a kind of pond in the backyard. There was a family of ducks there, and the babies were so small. They looked so soft, and I wanted to touch one. Every time they started to come close to me, though, their mother chased them back away from me. I picked up a rock and threw it at the mom. I knew that was a bad idea, but I did it anyway. Then, the mom started hissing. She spread out her wings and started walking quickly towards me. I ran, screaming, all the way back to my house.

Memory #62

I was walking through the airport behind my parents when i overheard some college-aged men talking to each other in front of an arrivals/departures monitor bank. They were saying the f-word a lot, loudly. I was so offended. I thought, "how can they talk like that? In front of everyone?"

Memory #61

When we lived in the mountains, I had a friend over to play. (Probably just an acquaintance.) We played with a set of semi-trucks I had. When he linked a red truck to a gray trailer, I asked him - in a loud and mean way that I never would have expected of myself - "Don't you know your colors??" As if the only way to play trucks was the way I had always done it, with the colors of the trucks matching their trailers.

Memory #60

I went over to a kid's house, someone I had just met at school. We played with his action figures and his Nintendo. When my mom was driving me home after that, I thought about the fact that he could play Nintendo any time he wanted. And I remember wishing I was him. Although later I took it back because his parents didn't seem very nice and I doubted his Nintendo made him happy. But it made me think about what it means to "be" and what it would be like to be someone else.

Memory #59

When I was in kindergarten, I was really shy. A classmate asked me if there was going to be hot lunch one day, and I didn't know the answer, so I said "no." She got mad because her babysitter had already packed a lunch for her or something. Well, as it turned out, we did have hot lunch that day, and she asked me why I told her we didn't have hot lunch when we did. I think she was mad at me for that. I don't remember if I responded at all.

Memory #58

My brother has an October birthday. Each year at his party, my dad would make a mini haunted house. He would find some creepy military gear to put on and sit at the end of a dark hallway. I remember that he wore a gas mask at one of the houses, and I would not approach him. I did know that it was just my dad, though.

Memory #57

In third grade, I was on the swings at recess. An older student came by and stood in front of me and started counting to 30. Then he told me that my time was up, and it was his turn. I told him to leave me alone, and he went and tattled on the aid. She called me over and asked why I didn't give him the swing after he had counted to 30. I told her that I didn't know the rules, and I never used the swings again.

Memory #56

The tennis player, Lindsay Davenport, was from my city. My fourth grade teacher contacted her, and she was going to come to my class and teach us how to play tennis. The morning of the special day, she called my teacher and canceled. All I know is that Lindsay was crying on the phone when she said she couldn't make it. I have no idea what happened to her.

Memory #55

Sometimes my mom would make soup for dinner, and it would turn out extremely hot. She would put ice cubes in each of our bowls. I can still remember pushing the ice through the soup as it melted away.

Memory #54

For Halloween, I decided to wear a gorilla mask and hand out candy. I sat very still as the trick or treaters came near, so they could not tell if I was real or not. A mean kid from my class and his friend approached me. I did not move, and the bully was really freaked out! He would not get anywhere near me! What an idiot. I pulled off my mask and we all laughed. He was still pretty mean at school, though.

Memory #53

After graduating college, I decided to look for a job at the mall. I brought my resume to a store that was having open interviews, and the gate was closed. I could see all the people inside having a fun group discussion in a circle. They were all high schoolers. I walked past the store a few times, and I got so afraid and embarrassed for some reason. I walked out of the mall and drove home.

Memory #52

I did my laundry at night, and the laundry room is behind my house. On the way back, I looked over at my neighbor's balcony in the darkness. There was a large, old man staring right at me as I walked past. I was very startled, but I forced a smile at my neighbor. Just then, the motion sensor light turned on for me. The old man completely disappeared, and there was nothing in his place.

Memory #51

One day, no one was home, and I decided to straighten up the living room a little bit. Then, I ate some yogurt and watched tv for a while. I remember sitting in the rocking chair and feeling so happy with myself. I enjoyed myself so much while I ate that yogurt.

Memory #50

While driving home one night, I saw a homeless man a few blocks from my house. I could make out the shadowy shape of his long coat and wild hair. He had a beard, and he lurked between the cars parked on the side of the road. He bobbed up and down on his toes, and his head gazed from side to side as if he was hunting for something. He swiftly walked down the sidewalk with hunched shoulders. I park on the street outside my house, and I always watch out for him if it is night time.

Memory #49

It was a fad in middle school to recreate lyrics to a song with a nasty twist. The most popular was a version of, "I Saw the Sign," by Ace of Base. It went like so: "I saw your mom. She opened up her legs and said, 'Come on!' It was so scary. It was pink and hairy!" I heard it on the bus, in the hallways, at lunch, everyone was singing it. I have no idea if this was isolated to my school or if other middle schools caught on to the craze.

Memory #48

For Halloween, I put a box on my shoulders and stuck my head through a hole in the front. Then, I hung a trench coat over the box and positioned the arms to cradle my head where it was poking through. It looked like a tall man carrying his head. It hurt my neck pretty badly, but everyone loved it. I recycled the costume for the next Halloween, and I won a costume contest.

Memory #47

My sister decided to pretend she ran a magazine shop. She pulled out a piece of junk mail and had me choose which ones I would like to buy. I picked out magazines for each of my imaginary children. "Well, my son likes to play a lot, so I think I will buy him Playboy," I decided.

Memory #46

My grandma took us to a bead store. While I was there, I bought beads that said, "I love you mom." The employees asked if I wanted to buy the tiny filler beads for 5 dollars, but I didn't think the bracelet needed them. As I presented my gift to my mom, my grandma announced how cheap I was. I snapped the bracelet open and threw the beads into my messy closet where it was impossible to find them.

Memory #45

I kept in touch with my friend from fifth grade. He sent me a coded letter with the key to decode it. It was a fun idea, but I really couldn't be bothered to finish the entire thing. After putting it off for months, I lost the letter. I never heard from him again.

Memory #44

An old lady came to babysit us. She obviously liked girls more than boys. For bed, I wore a long shirt and underwear. I was going to sleep, and the woman came in and asked if I had pants on! I lied and said I did. She demanded that I show her! I didn't want to, and she started lifting up my covers to look! I was so worried that she would find out that I lied. There is nothing wrong with what I was doing, and that old woman was perverted.

Memory #43

Before I was five, I opened the front door and saw a monstrous spider standing by the hose. It had skinny black legs that were 12 inches long. They had sockets where they bent in the middle. At the top of the twig legs was a black, bulbous body. It was a tennis ball sized orb with boils on the top of it. The spider was pitch black. It looked like a giant daddy long legs, except the legs were straighter, and the body sat at the top of the legs rather than in the middle of them. It stood just feet from me, and I slammed the door and ran inside.

Memory #42

In France, I walked across a bridge. A man quickly approached in a stumbly walk. He was old, and the skin of his face barely clung to his skull. He was wearing a suit and a top hat. His unblinking eyes stared straight above my head. He was not focusing. One hand, he held out in front of his coat pocket. It madly shook and jiggled around. His wrist was vibrating everywhere, but the fingers and hand just flapped as if they had no bones in them. A sack of loose skin.

Memory #41

I sat near a German woman on an airplane. I could tell she was bald, but she had a towel wrapped around her head. She had a nice smile, and she seemed sedated. I could not quite tell if she was a man or a woman. I also did not know why she was bald. I was somewhat disturbed.

Memory #40

At a stop light, I realized that I needed to turn right, and I didn't see anyone in the lane next to me. I decided to go for it and turn just as a car came flying at me. Luckily, she stopped with inches to spare. I was so embarrassed, and the commotion was over, so I drove off as fast as I could and pulled into a housing development to collect myself. The woman followed me and parked behind me! The enraged woman got out of her car and approached me. "What the fuck do you think you are doing! I can't afford to pay more on my insurance! Why did you just fucking drive off like that," she screamed and started getting closer. I said, "Sorry, did we actually crash?" "NO. But what the fuck were you thinking . . ." on and on she went. "Well, I said sorry!" I yelled and closed my window and left her there screaming with her red wrinkled face.

Memory #39

I went along with my mom and my sister as she sold Girl Scout cookies around our military community in Germany. At one house, a blonde woman and her blonde daughter answered the door. They had huge smiles. "Oh, no thank you! We do not eat sugar," they told us.

Memory #38

My mom took us to the Museum of Modern Art in New York. We saw a plastic fly sitting on a white cube. We saw a mannequin facing a corner, entitled, "Martin, Go Stand in the Corner and be Ashamed of Yourself." We also saw boxes of chocolates formed from chewed up lipsticks. There was a pile of candy sitting on the floor for people to take. There was also a poster featuring mugshots that you could take. One exhibit was photos of prostitutes' breasts. Another large painting featured a woman being raped on a pool table by 5 men in a bar. A hall of photographs displayed a picture of the patterns on a carpet. We saw furniture of the future designed in Japan. A little framed piece of paper with a tiny line down the middle was called, "Pinched and Rubbed Paper." My favorite artwork was a giant photo of a girl disemboweling a rattle snake.

Memory #37

Before going outside for PE in seventh grade, I would fold up my school clothes and place them neatly in my locker. A boy saw what I was doing and loudly teased me about it. After that, I would place my clothes in my locker in a way that would look a little messier, or I would fold them up real fast while no one was looking.

Memory #36

When my parents would go out of town for a weekend I was always deposited at my grandparents' house. One day it was dark and rainy and both my grandparents planted themselves in chairs in front of the window to watch the storm. I started to jig behind them. They turned around because I was making so much noise. My grandpa exclaimed, "HOO-AH! Look at her jig!" I liked that rainy day.

Memory #35

My mom had an electric lint cleaner. She showed me that you can put it on your palm, and the blades beneath the screen tickle your hand. I thought it was fascinating. I started to mess around with it, and I decided to put it on my tongue. It swiftly chopped all of my taste buds off.

Memory #34

When I was in middle school, I would record songs off the radio on tapes. I listened to the weekly top 40 to get the ones I liked. I had to listen for weeks before I could get, "Walking on the Sun," by Smashmouth. It was much easier for me to get another song by Enya. I have a few mix tapes still sitting in a box. I do not own a tape player, and I cannot play them now.

Memory #33

In fourth grade, we were going to make solar cookers to cook hot dogs and nachos the next day. I was so intrigued by the project that I could not wait. I started making my own cooker at home after school. In the middle of my project, a classmate came by. I have no idea why, because I had never hung out with him. Not once. But as we were chatting, he looked inside and saw my project on the floor! He asked why I was making the solar cooker now instead of in class. I was so embarrassed! I thought very quickly. "Well, Mrs. Burleson wanted me to test it out and see how it works," I stated. He thought that seemed normal. Whew.

Memory #32

When my mom was a middle school teacher, she would tell me the stories of the books that her classes had to read. She thought some of them like, "The Trumpeter of Krakow," were very boring. She thought it was stupid that the brother in, "My Brother Sam is Dead," did not even die from the war. A parent asked for her son to be exempt from reading, "The Witch of Blackbird Pond," because it had to do with magic. I remember that she hated, "A Wrinkle in Time," although she never made her class read it. The cover of, "The One Eyed Cat," scared me. The story that I found the most intriguing, although disturbing, was about a cowboy that was executed when his crime was an accident. I can't think of the title for that one. I also remember the names of her students even though I have never met them.

Memory #31

I went through a haunted house with my family. At one point, a fat bald man ran out at us. He was covered in bloody plastic wrap and wearing some sort of diaper. We started laughing at him and calling him a fat baby! My brother said it loud enough that the baby could hear. He stopped trying to scare us and went away. I felt bad.

Memory #30

We tie-dyed shirts in fifth grade. Each Friday, you could get a popsicle at lunch if you wore the school colors, red and black. Our class dyed shirts in those colors with the intention of getting popsicles on Fridays. Unfortunately, the dye was very faded, and the shirts looked more like gray and pink. We wore them anyways, and the woman handing out popsicles wouldn't give them to us because we didn't have the right colors. We even told her that we dyed them as a class just for that day. She still refused.

Memory #29

My fourth grade teacher asked us to bring in some snack food in a brown paper bag. We were going to see how the bag soaked up the grease and observe how unhealthy different foods were. I was the only one to complete the assignment. My teacher told me to put the bag off to the side, and we would get to it later. The potato chips sat on a bookshelf week after week. No one else brought anything in, and my teacher never mentioned the assignment again. After a few months, I think I threw the nasty bag out.

Memory #28

I loved the Nickelodeon channel. I set up a game of Double Dare for my family to play. I asked them how many stomachs an ant had and how many lifeboats the Titanic had. I wrote that the correct answer was 3 stomachs (because they look like they are made of three little balls), and 6 lifeboats (because I saw a painting of the ship sinking). After getting the questions wrong, my family had to do a challenge! They had to play basketball, but the basket was a bucket filled with mud that would splash everywhere. The game was supposed to go on for many more rounds, but sadly, my family had enough. I could definitely tell my dad did not want to be out there with us.

Memory #27

I was at my aunt and uncle's house. Everyone went swimming, and I had no idea where to find a towel. I was looking and looking, and my relatives had gone outside already. I was relieved to finally see my uncle. "Can you help me find a towel?" I asked. "Just look over there," he answered as he carried his own towel outside. What a great host! He was no help at all, and I felt really bad for some reason. I just stayed inside and watched Survivor.

Memory #26

One day, I decided I wanted to sing at the upcoming Halloween talent show. The organizers knew that I also can speak in a scary, growling voice. They asked if I would hide in a cubby up in front of a window in the stairwell from the basement. The crowd had to come up through the basement to see the show. I wore a scary mask and draped myself in a ratty old blanket. Strings of Christmas lights crossed over my sitting place to make it look like I was a restrained monster. When the guests came up, I yelled at them and tried to scare them! I said hello to my friends in the crowd using my scary voice. A toddler was scared, and his mom shielded his face from me.

Memory #25

My mom dropped me off at the batting cages for a special baseball practice. I sat for at least an hour, and my team never showed. The place was empty except for me and the owner. I was so afraid and shy and embarrassed that I didn't speak to him. He tried to offer me some gum, but I said no. I sat in a chair for so long and stared at the floor and the wall. Finally, after what seemed like hours, my mom came to pick me up. The team was just then arriving. For some reason she dropped me off too early by accident. Luckily, she took me home, and I didn't have to stay there even longer to bat. Or else I just batted real quick and they let me leave.

Memory #24

I was walking between some school buildings on my way to the soccer field for practice. A boy approached me in the opposite direction. Right when we passed each other, he turned to me and spit right at me. It missed me by inches and hit the wall. I didn't react, and he just kept walking. I have always wondered if it was an accident or if he was just mean.

Memory #23

Once, I was terribly angry at my brother. I found some old buttons with rusty pins on the back. I opened them up, slid the buttons beneath his pillowcase, and I poked the sharp pins through. They were just sitting there poking up into the air and waiting for his head. Luckily, I did this in the middle of the day, and by the evening, I decided I should take them out!

Memory #22

I was a brand new Marine wife in 1981, living in a trailer park near Camp Lejeune in North Carolina. One day, I pulled on a little matching baby blue cotton shorts and t-shirt outfit that I had owned for a couple of years and loved to wear because it was so comfortable. I drove to the commissary, walked up to the woman checking IDs at the front desk, and nonchalantly showed her mine. She hesitated, looked me up and down with kind of a grimace on her face, and then told me I couldn't come in because my shorts were too short! I stammered out some sort of answer and fled back to my car and back to the trailer, feeling very indignant. At home, I looked in a mirror, and was even more mortified to see that she was right. My shorts were indecent. I took that outfit off and sadly threw it into the Goodwill bag.

Memory #21

I had to wear a silver cap on my front tooth one summer because the dentist was afraid I would have trouble at summer camp with a regular white cap. I would forget I had it on and give out these big, happy grins at camp, and then, when I looked in the mirror when I brushed my teeth before bed, I would be shocked to see this big, freaky, metallic thing in my mouth. THAT is what everyone else had been looking at all day!

Memory #20

I went to a grand opening of a theme park with my friend when we were in first or second grade. She was in a Michael Jackson phase at the time and wore one white glove on her right hand. That day at the theme park she lost it and was very sad.

Memory #19

I once thought Trapper-Keepers were the coolest school supply ever. I needed one. I shopped everywhere and couldn't find one that I liked. Finally, my mom suggested we go to Walgreens. I hated Walgreens. But I decided it was worth a try. I found a beautiful Lisa Frank Trapper-Keeper that just took my breath away. Ever since that day, I have had a soft spot for Walgreens.